


Nineteen

by notmyyehet



Series: When We Were Young [1]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Death, EXO - Freeform, Heavy Angst, Hospital, M/M, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 02:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notmyyehet/pseuds/notmyyehet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was beautiful when they were 19. Perfect, to be honest. However, things never stay perfect. And for Zitao and Kris, it all seemed to break apart the moment they turned 20. It is said that the things that break people apart can bring them together again. Not when you're dying. //TaoRis//</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Good Days

Zitao writhed under the white covers of the bed, unknowingly tangling himself farther into their grasp. He moaned inaudibly, skeletal hands unconsciously pulling the blanket up higher. It was the dream again, he realized subconsciously. Internally he fought, kicking and screaming, attempting to hide from the dream that had plagued him for weeks now. It wasn't even a dream, but a memory. One he only relived as he slept. Therefore, he avoided sleeping as much as he could. The only reason he slept now was because they told him to. Zitao whimpered in his sleep as he gave up and sank into the darkness, submitting himself to the dream.

The sun sat high in the sky, warm rays spreading throughout the land. A breeze stirred the green grass of the field, hiding the footprints of the boys that had traipsed through only minutes earlier. The boys in question were Kris Wu and Huang Zitao, old friends and new lovers. Said boys were standing on the edge of a dock that overlooked a blue green lake that was suspiciously empty for the summer. Both males were standing on the edge of the wooden platform, both clad in swimming clothes. One was apprehensive and tall, with blonde locks and who went by Kris Wu. Next to him was an equally tall boy, shivering with excitement and with dark locks. He went by Zitao. 

But this Zitao was healthy, not the pale, thin, half dead corpse lying on the bed in the dark hospital. This Zitao was strong and lean, with a well defined body that was lusted after by both genders. 

"C'mon Kris, it'll be fun. We've been looking forward to a day like this since summer started." Tao said, looking imploringly at the figure beside him, cheek resting against the figure's shoulder. "Water is not good for a dragon," came the deep voice, now softened into a whisper. Tao chuckled and wrapped his arms around Kris, tugging him closer until their cheeks were resting against each other. 

"I'll go first then, Mr. Galaxy. Since the dragon needs a panda cheerleader." Tao laughed and he deattached himself from his lover and swung his arms in preparation. Moments later, a splash echoed through the small valley and a tall boy popped up from the shadow dappled water. Reaching up, Tao clung titly to the ladder at the side of the dock, grabbing Kris and pulling himself down into the frigid waters. Kris gasped, hands desperately attempting to clear the hair from his face. As his vision cleared, he was met with a wave of water colliding with him, courtesy of his boyfriend. He growled, paddling his way over to the raven haired boy, brows knit together and lips set into a mock scowl. He raised his arms, prepared to hit the other boy with an equally as powerful wave of water, but he froze in shock as arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him closer, so that his lips met with an achingly familiar pair.

At the feeling of teeth gently nibbling on his lower lip, Tao moaned, bidding his boyfriend to explore the new territory. Gasping as he felt a pair of arms encircle his waist, he tugged the bare chest of Kris closer to his in response to the muscle probing his mouth. Kris smirked at the reaction and left his lover's lip, the whine of protest being cut off by a mewl of pleasure as Kris attached his lips to the sensitive spot on Tao's neck. Tao's eyes glowed, shivers of pleasure coursing through his body. His lover smirked against the salty skin and dug his teeth in, breaking the flesh, causing red to rise up. Tao's pained yelp was soon replaced by a moan of pleasure as a tongue quickly began to lap at the bruised flesh, soothing the angered skin. 

Then there was nothing. Tao looked up to see his boyfriend's dark eyes locked on his, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. A laugh bubbled up in Tao's throat and he leaned forward, resting his forehead on Kris's. "I love you," he whispered and was met by a chaste kiss to his temple and his companion replying with the simple words that had been true from the moment they had meant. 

"I love you too."

Too bad that even in his sleep, Zitao knew what lies those words had carried.


	2. I Live For The Memories

He woke up in cold sheets, white and pristine, but cold nontheless. Standing up, he felt a chill. Though sunlight streamed through the curtains, their rays were faint and weak, much like the mind of the who stood alone in the room. He had let his mind become twisted and warped, cracked and broken by the iron fisted hand of society. He had allowed himself to be ripped away from the one he had cherished and loved, the one he had those many months ago. Oh how he wished to be against the side of his lover yet again, but as he had told himself oh so many times before, Zitao was most likely gone, dead. He might have looked healthy the last time they saw each other, but that was months ago. Cancer killed in months, weeks even. 

He had tears in his eyes when his phone buzzed, a sharp sound that cut through the silence like a double-edged sword. A thin hand, adorned with a glittering ring, wrapped itself around the device while dark eyes scanned the screen. A message from a man called Lay, carrying only an address and room number. The man rushed out the door, jacket forgetten and forlorn on the hook by the door.

It was the memories that ate away at him, slowly making him waste away in nothing, that was Zitao's belief. The doctors said it was a tumor that spread from his lungs to his heart. Yet Zitao still clung to the belief he had, for it comforted in some odd way. He had been told that he was a rare case by the masked people that came to his bedside in the morning. Once upon a time, he would've given anything to be unique, to be rare, but now that he prayers had been answered, he wished desperately to take them back. Zitao sighed, the drugs that had been injected in him hours earlier finally working, clouding his mind, making his vision fade to black, causing him to fall deeper beneath the dark waves of memories than he already was.

The sky was blushing shades of red and pink, the bold blue it had once boasted now fading to a gold as the stretched out over the earth, attempting to cover as much of the frail planet as it could before it was forced to leave. On an empty street lined with forlorn trees that whispered unheard pleas to the wind, two boys went by, coming and leaving quicker than the flame of a candle blowing out. Both were seated on a black motorcycle, a fairly new friend to one young man and an old one to the other. The boy seated at the back, with black hair and equally dark eyes that matched the bags underneath was squealing, whining almost, a high pitched noise of fright and joy. The young man in front was smirking, but his eyes held a certain affection and tenderness in them that usually was not refuged there. These two boys continued to drive, leaving the town on the horizon behind them and heading for the light of the sun where love reigned supreme and all lived forever.

*******

He writhed in the bed, a moan rising in his throat but dying away as quickly as it had came as he sank deeper

into the sea of memories.

*******

There was silence outside and that might have been the reason Tao woke up. Or maybe it was because the pair of arms wrapped around his waist had tightened themselves a bit too much for comfort or maybe it was because his lover was mumbling words into his ear, words that made no sense, sweet nothings. Howver, Tao couldn't find it in himself to care. Maybe somewhere deep inside he did care why he woke up, but that part was unheeded, buried too deep to hear. All that mattered was that he had awoken in the arms of his beloved, head tucked snugly into the crook of the slender neck that belonged to Kris Wu. Tao sighed, a sigh of contentment and that might have been what caused Kris to stir, a morning greeting escaping his mouth as he looked over the man in his grasp. "Sleep well?" Came the question, asked by an alluringly deep voice. Tao nodded shyly, earning a hum of pleasure from his lover. "You?" Tao timidly asked, nuzzling his head deeper into the crook of Kris' neck, dark eyes sparkling but cautious. "I always sleep well when I'm with the one I love." And with that response, Tao felt as if the gates had opened, letting in the flood of warmth that he had been waiting for for so long.

*******

A wail bubbled up in his throat, but escaped an unheard mewl, going unoticed by the many people that walked

past each day. But not one person was for him

*******

"I can't date someone that's dying."

"What?"

"You heard me Tao. Moreover, I can't love someone that isn't perfect."

"Wh-what do you mean, Kris-ge?"

"You're not perfect Tao. And I need someone perfect. Not a commoner who's dying. My image would be ruined."

"So this," he spread his arms wide, "this meant nothing to you?"

"Of course not. Why would it? You're just a dying boy Tao. Just an infatuation. Nothing more." Cold eyes stared into Tao's.

"B-but Kris-," Tao was cut off by his ex-lover. 

"I can't talk anymore Tao. I have a date with Amber in 10. Bye." And he turned and walked away. But he turned back, hardened gaze meeting Tao's glazed eyes. "And one last thing Tao.-"

"Those 'I love yous' meant nothing."

*******

And Tao woke up screaming, a hand on his wrist.

And he turned, terrified gaze meeting the tender one next to him.

And his world came crashing down.


	3. And My World Came Crashing Down

Golden eyes stared into dark ones. A soft gaze met a panicked glare. Opposites met, fire and water collided. Time froze.

A hand in the grasp of another...

A gentle smile that shone in the dark...

A soft laugh, pulled somewhere out of shadows...

Happy memories of a joyful time, when nothing mattered.

But those days were over, traded for the dark days and now...the silent days. The days where nothing seemed to happen, where there was just a cycle of the same thing happening again and again, the same repetitive circle. The days where there was a void, a gap, in the silence of Tao's life. The void next to his bed, by his side, in his mind, heart, soul, body. In his world. But now those days had come to a close as well and had disappeared, fading into past memories. Now there was a new era, a new age. The day of the endless. The day of the past. The day of remebering. Today.

"What are you doing here?" The voice was weak, yet the edge to it was sharp, cutting into Kris as heavily as a shard of broken glass. He opens his mouth, but his breath catches in his throat and he chokes on his words as he lets his eyes rake over Tao's sickly frame, a wave of guilt rushing over him, pinning him and his words down. "Tao," he mumbled, the familiar name stumbling across his lips. "Tao," Kris tried again, letting the feel of the name settle back into his mouth, back into his lips. He reached out a pale hand, his left, on which a shining ring was located, its gleam reflecting crudely off the shining lamps that washed the already artificial building with artificial light.

"Don't touch me, you cheating bastard," a hand flying up in reflex, hovering in front of Tao's face. "Don't touch me," he hissed again, teeth gritted in a grimace, out of pain or anger, Kris couldn't tell. "Look at me, Tao, please," his voice stronger now, clear, yet breaking at the edges. His golden eyes stared into Tao's dark ones, pleading and devastated, asking, begging, for something Tao could never give him, not again.

"Why should I? You cheated on me, left me for that woman. The woman you said you hated, was too uptight, too snobbish." His laugh was ugly and cold, yet edged with raw sadness. "Then again, I guess you were perfect for each other, weren't you? I mean, look." Tao's clouded gaze looked downwards, eyeing the shining artifact that adorned Kris's left ring finger. "You married her. Something you wouldn't have done with me." A mouth was set agape and the air was stolen from him, catching in his throat and setting a barrier against the words that longed to rise.

The words broke through.

"Tao, it-it was a mistake. I-this marriage means nothing. Tao, you mean everything. I was young and stupid, I didn't-," an anemic voice, still sharp with frozen rage, broke through the chilling words. "I can't disagree with the stupid part." The usually strong brow of Kris faltered and his face crumpled, something in his eyes collapsing, fracturing. "T-Tao please. Stop with the sarcasm. Listen to me."

"Why? Why should I? After all you've done to me. After how much you've-,"

"I love you." The words were spoken frail and fragile, so soft they were almost non-existent. 

"W-What?" 

"I love-Tao? Tao?! Tao, what's wrong? Can you hear me? Tao, oh god, someone help, help, please!" The last phrase was spoken as a roar and an alarm rang through the halls, a monotone voice echoing throughout the building. All Kris could focus on, however, was the dulling eyes of the boy in the bed, the cracked boy, the boy who was breaking. And all because of Kris. His hand reached out to grasp the slowly falling arm. But he was torn away in a sea of people, thrust out and alone into the cold hallway. Alone. Alone. Alone. Ever since he was nineteen, he had been alone. Ever since he let go of Tao. Ever since he left. Ever since...he had fallen into the chilling chair that decorated the otherwise bare corridor. And there he would wait. Until he got the news. The news that had split him apart, caused him to collapse, to tear apart.

The beautiful, forlorn, tortured boy had broken.

Fin.

And so it has ended.


End file.
